The men looked at the pod.
It was clear that they would have to leave it behind.
There wasn't enough oxygen for them to be able to come
back and pick it up, and the BLAST-OFF WINDOW would be
closed in less than half an hour. Lobelia took pictures
of it, with his cellphone camera, and then they were on
their way back to the ship.
They blasted off, less than an hour later, and made
their way back home. They spent the time in the ship, in
various ways. Lobelia watched a FOOTBALL GAME on TV, Sgt
Falconian was writing a letter to his friends back at
BUILDING C, and was working on a letter to his cousin
Renata, who lived in Blende. Quincy was watching a
newscast.
Sgt Falconian looked up from his letter writing. He
started to read the letter to his cousin, and soon had
LOBELIA AND QUINCY CONVULSING IN LAUGHTER. Parts of the
letter concerned memories of a trip to the BEACH that
HE'D TAKEN NADINE ON, a few months back. He'd been
trying to BROADEN THE LITTLE WINGED CREATURE'S HORIZONS,
by introducing her to NEW SURROUNDINGS. What had
happened, was NOT THE LEARNING EXPERIENCE HE'D BEEN
HOPING FOR, but SOMETHING FAR TOO NEFARIOUS.
HE READ:
"It all started with a recipe for SEA SALT, which I
wanted ta make for Nadine.
"The recipe called for a clean bottle, that held at
least 8 fl. oz. to 10 fl. oz.
*8 fl. oz. of water. Try distilled or filtered if your
tap water isn't the best on hair
*Sea salt. I used ordinary TABLE SALT. I used 1 tsp for
each 8 fl oz of water.
*Coconut scented conditioner. THE COCONUT MADE IT SMELL
TROPICAL, like we'd spent the day in the lagoon.I made
it for Nadine's bath, an' she smelled really NICE an' it
made her tiny scales really sparkly.
"I MADE ENOUGH MIXTURE TO LAST her A MONTH. Anyway,
that day, she'd SPENT ALL her TIME at the BEACH, CHASING
CRABS...only they wuz chasin' HER! She wuz RUNNIN' DOWN
THE BEACH, SCREAMING, and she had a bunch of little sand
crabs chasin' after her!
"What FREAKED HER OUT, I think, wuz that THEY COULD SEE
IN EVERY DIRECTION! Ya can't SNEAK UP ON THESE GUYS, at
all, because their EYES ARE TURNIN' IN EVERY DIRECTION
ON THEIR STALKS like RADAR ANTENNA! So they can JUMP ON
YA AND PINCH YA, if ya try to SNEAK UP ON THEM! And they
LOOK LIKE GREAT BIG SPIDERS!!! What I think happened
with NADINE, wuz that she wuz CURIOUS about these guys,
an' they thought she wuz LOOKING AT THEM AS FOOD! You
can GUESS TH' REST!
"The BEACH IS WEIRD ANYWAY. There's all that SAND, then
the CRABS, and those STARFISH GUYS WITH THEIR SUCTION
CUPS ON THE BOTTOMS of 'em, the SEA URCHINS that LOOK
LIKE LITTLE HAIRBALLS, and the CLAMS----WELL, THEY'RE
basically ONE LONG FOOT!!!! And then the way they LOOK
LIKE THEY'RE ALWAYS SMILING AT YA...It's ANOTHER thing
that GOT NADINE ALL FLUSTERED. But the WORST THING WUZ
WHAT HAPPENED WITH TH' OYSTERS!
"And the OYSTERS--------did you KNOW THAT THESE THINGS
START OUT AS MALES and END UP AS FEMALES? And dependin'
on whether the oysters are cultivated or grow naturally,
the LARVAE stick themselves to rocks, shells, or any
other solid objects and spend their lives in one place,
openin' their growing shells ta get th' algae from the
water, and what happened NEXT wuz enough ta make a GROWN
MAN CRY: Nadine fell asleep on th' BEACH, an' ONE OF
THESE GUYS STUCK THEMSELVES t'her BACKSIDE!
"Ta MAKE A LONG STORY SHORT, I HADDA TAKE 'ER t' the
DOCTORS AN' SPECIALISTS DEALIN' WITH THESE THINGS I
hadda have SPECIAL CHAIRS MADE FOR her, with HOLES CUT
INTO THEM so that she COULD SIT DOWN, without SQUASHING
THE OYSTER. And she hadda BE REALLY CAREFUL when she
WENT TO THE BATHROOM, so that the OYSTER WOULDN'T FALL
INTO THE TOILET. She had to WEAR her BAGGY PANTS all the
time, so that the OYSTER COULD BREATHE, and she had TO
USE SPECIAL SOAP so that the OYSTER WOULDN'T BECOME
IRRITATED, when she TOOK A BATH.
"Newspaper people came from ALL OVER THE place ta
INTERVIEW ME ABOUT Nadine's LITTLE ATTACHMENT. They
asked questions about it, and the DOCTORS AND SEA PEOPLE
would come, also, and they took PICTURES OF IT TO STUDY
IT. About a WEEK AN' A HALF LATER, th' thing fell out,
an' Nadine wuz back TA NORMAL!.
"I'm REGRETTING ever takin' her TO THE BEACH. We shoulda
STAYED HERE, IN DESERT TERRITORY, where the WORST THING
THAT COULD'VE HAPPENED ta Nadine, would be that she got
CHASED BY WASPS, tripped, an' FELL OVER A GOPHER-
HOLE..."
He finished reading the letter. Lobelia brought out some
candy bars and offered them to his friends. As they ate,
they talked about the football game, Sgt Falconian's
letter, and what they were going to do, when they got
back home. Then Lobelia turned on the monitor, to see if
the HAM RADIO OPERATORS were still monitoring them with
their RADAR-SCOPE.
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